We have combined our own research with a 2009 Ok Trends study to develop comprehensive advice for sending your first message.
So, do you have any advice for how to get my message to stand out? Most dating sites have a flirty option which allows you to express your interest without having to actually message a person.
(On How About We, this is the “I’m Intrigued” button, on OKCupid it’s a wink.) In general, this is not a good way for a guy to approach a girl on an online dating site.
Your first message determines the initial impression you make, and only about one-third of first messages even receive a reply.
A common theme of success in sending your message is to be intelligently casual.
Stick with a short, concise first message; you can write longer, detailed messages later once you have communicated back and forth a little.
Your first message should be written in the same tone you would use in person.
Take care, however, not to let your vulnerability give way to desperation; this will not work in your favor.
We were shocked by which greetings led to the most responses.
The reader should be able to tell you are friendly; just keep it casual and polite.